Anxiety is a b*tch with a capital B

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As a sex writer, I get to research many interesting things when it comes to sex.

Since I started writing about sex at the beginning of 2020, I have discovered so many things I would like to try with a partner (and alone), and because I was inspired by an article from Yael Wolfe, I recently started compiling my own sex bucket list.

As I was writing things down, I realized that there were some things I would never be able to pull off — all because I have an anxiety disorder.

I have my anxiety under control for the…


30 things to try before I turn 30

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I love the email I receive every morning from Medium to my inbox. It always contains amazing articles to read for me as I drink my morning matcha before work, and it has become a ritual for me at this point.

One morning, an article from Yael Wolfe popped up in my inbox where she’s sharing her updated sex bucket list, and after I’ve read it, I was inspired to make my own sex bucket list.

I have been making a mental sex bucket list since I was a teen, and while I seem to have a list for every…


Your internalized misogyny is showing

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Ah, they say you’ll always remember your first love.

Mine was Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, and I was twelve.

I still remember those days reading the book in bed, whimpering and screaming at the first look, then the first touch of Bella and Edward. The crazy recession breaks during school when all the girls would gather in a small circle and swoon over who was Team Edward and who was Team Jacob (Team Edward forever, even if he’s a bit of a weirdo, to say the least…).

Then, the second love came, and it was the notorious Sookie Stackhouse series


It has less to do with your trauma and more to do with your uterus

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A few months back, I wrote an article about why do I think women actually prefer assholes over the “nice” guys. At the time, I was only guessing from my own experience and the realization I got while watching Ginny&Georgia for the third time that week.

But recently, while writing an article for a client on the Dark Triad personalities and sexual desire, I came across some interesting research that actually explains the reason why women prefer assholes, and it has nothing to do with our trauma or mental illnesses.

In fact, it appears to be a biological thing.

Blame your uterus

For…


What men think women find attractive vs. what women truly find attractive

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A few weeks back, right after the Italian rock band, Maneskin had won the Eurovision, TikTok was going crazy over the band leader, Damiano David. I have never seen women all over the world collectively come together and thirst over a man since Harry Styles was first introduced to the world.

And in fact, everyone has been comparing Damiano David to Harry Styles and Timothee Chalamet, the feminine, soft men that every woman has a sweet spot for.

Now, my younger brother, quite unhappily, asked me what his appeal was. As we were making lunch, he questioned, “Why is he…


Our relationship between sex and self-worth is absurd

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“I can’t do this anymore,” James said to me as he rose from the bed. He didn’t look at me as he zipped his jeans, searching for his t-shirt in the darkroom. “I want to have sex with other women, and I can’t do it if I’m having sex with you.”

His words didn’t surprise me because we had discussed this issue before. But they still hit me like a wall of bricks, scattering my thoughts.

So, the only thing I did was stare at him as he finished dressing, leaned in to kiss me one last time, and then…


Maybe it’s the power play or the fact that it’s been too long since I’ve been with the man IRL

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For the longest time, I have been one of those women who watched almost exclusively lesbian porn.

It’s a fairly common thing for straight women, and we do it for many different reasons. I, personally, preferred some girl-on-girl action because it was catered more towards my pleasure rather than a man’s, like in most of the other regular porn.

As time went on, I realized that it’s not the women and the things that they were doing was what turned me on. In fact, the thing that turns me on in porn is the orgasm, reaching the finishing line.

Once…


She celebrates me being a feminist yet refuses to call herself a feminist

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The other day I sat by our kitchen table opposite my mom as we both enjoyed a cup of coffee with some homemade chocolate dessert.

I’m lucky because I have a mom who I consider to be my best friend, and while I love her to death and think that she’s amazing, our relationship hasn’t been this way always.

My feminist side starting showing in school quite early, you see. And ten years ago, I believed that a woman has to act like a man to be a feminist. …


There’s no “one perfect person” for anyone.

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Even 73% of Americans believe in soulmates.

We have been conditioned by media that there is one perfect person for us out there, who is sent by the universe or the god or whoever just for us.

But is it really the way our relationships and love in general work? Is there really a perfect person for us, waiting for the moment when we will meet, or is it just a social construct, like so many other things we were raised to believe in?

Let’s start by going way back to when the concept of soulmates was born first.

Brief History of Soulmates

The…

Karolina Wilde

Sex and relationship writer | fantasy romance author | podcast host | https://www.karolinawilde.com/

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